Pride in Marriage


In the Book of Mormon, we read about nations falling because of pride. The same destruction can happen to our marriages and families if pride is not checked. The bible dictionary defines repentance as “a turning of the heart and will to God”, which is the antithesis of pride. President Ezra Taft Benson defines pride as opposition toward God and our fellowman.  So, repentance is the cure for pride. How do we repent of pride?

I think King Benjamin (Mosiah 3:19) teaches it well—if pride is our natural tendency, then to counteract it we must, “becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, and willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us].” These principles apply in all of our interactions and relationships, especially in marriage.

When the Lamanites were converted to the Gospel of Jesus Christ, they buried their weapons of war for peace. If we desire to be humble and have peace in our marriages, we can bury our weapons of war, so to speak, by choosing kindness, long-suffering, compassion, forgiveness, empathy, and love.


President Benson points out other aspects and manifestations of pride that we may not think of—jealousy, seeking the approval of others, comparison, competition, elevating ourselves, fault finding, gossiping, backbiting, murmuring, living beyond our means, envying, coveting, withholding gratitude and praise, being unforgiving, disobedience (to God and other’s requests), selfishness (self-conceit, self-pity, worldly self-fulfillment, self-gratification, self-seeking), contention (arguments, fights, generation-gaps, unrighteous dominion, divorce, abuse), being easily offended, holding grudges, defensiveness, dividing by “ranks”, rationalization and justification.

Wow! No wonder we are all guilty of pride as one time or another—maybe more often than we think. 

How can we be more aware of and fortify ourselves against these inner weaknesses?
President Benson reminds us that Jesus did “always those things” that pleased God, and asks a wise question, “Would we not do well to have the pleasing of God as our motive?”

What a great question—if we always had in our mind in every situation—How can I handle this situation that would be pleasing to God?


Recognizing pride in ourselves is the first step to changing. In the following videos, Elder and Sister Bednar address how to overcome pride and President Hinckley talks about how we choose to be humble.

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