Finances

Finances are an important and ever-changing aspect of a marriage. A husband and wife bring their own incomes, rules, and habits with them. Merging the two can be difficult as a couple figures out to navigate the changes that occur, such as having children, going from two incomes to one, experiencing job loss or any number of unexpected scenarios. In twenty-two years of marriage, my husband and I have experienced these changes. The following are some financial principles that have helped us find stable footing and blessed our marriage.

Pay tithing and fast offerings- When you are obedient and give back to the Lord in faith and with a generous heart, He opens the windows of heaven. Some of the blessings he as poured out on our marriage include being able to do more with less, having wisdom to make good financial choices, being compatible with my husband, being able to determine needs from wants and doing without, knowing how use and not waste food storage, helping us achieve our family goals- especially me being a stay at home mom. At times we have even received unexpected money or help when needed and I have felt the Lord’s protection, love and care over us.

Pay yourself (savings)- There are always expected and unexpected needs arising (auto repairs, the washing machine giving up the ghost, school and medical expenses, etc.) Money saved will help prevent debt and added stress when these things happen.

Live within your means/avoid debt- Don’t spend more money than you make. Only use credit cards for convenience and building credit- always be able to pay it off immediately. Debt causes stress and can ruin a marriage.

Create a realistic budget and live by it- It is important for both husband and wife to understand what it costs to live, where the money goes and determine together needs vs. wants. Budgeting is a continual process, not a onetime event.

Communicate about money, expectations, and goals- Both partners should have a say in creating a budget, determining needs and wants, deciding who is responsible for paying bills, and making any financial decisions including preparing for the future. Don’t make big decisions (buying a car or selling the house) without consulting your spouse.

Practice self-discipline and self-control on spending- Give yourself and your spouse a “fun money” allowance and don’t allow yourselves to spend over that amount. Save up for things you really want. If self-discipline is a weakness, create a check and balance system where if something costs over a certain amount, you check with the other person and have a conversation before buying. When money was tight with a young family, this system saved us many times from frivolous or unnecessary purchases.

Treat yourself occasionally (use wisdom)- I am a tightwad, and it is really no fun for anyone. My husband keeps me in balance by occasionally taking the whole family to dinner or a movie or buying a meal inside Disneyland because we had nothing but peanut butter sandwiches and granola bars for several days. It might stretch our budget temporarily, but we always find a way to recover and it can help alleviate the stress of always being on a tight budget and doing without.

Recognize your strengths and weaknesses and use them to create compatibility- My husband is more of a spender and I am a saver. He is generous with money and I tend to grasp it with an iron fist. We have both learned to comprise at times and be flexible. My husband has helped me let go a little and not stress so much about spending money, and I have helped reign him in a little. We have found a way to complement each other.

Figure out a system of control that works for you together-  When my husband and I got married, we both wanted control over the money, so we payed bills together. It didn’t take long for my husband to turn the job over to me as he was going to school as well as working and found that he didn’t have the time and trusted me to handle it. Seven years later my husband was laid off and sometime during the fourteen months of low paying temp jobs, I turned the bill paying over to him because I couldn’t handle the stress of it. I am perfectly happy not reclaiming that responsibility, so I don’t have to see our money being spent. We are both happy with this arrangement now.

“We encourage you wherever you may live in the world to prepare for adversity by looking to the condition of your finances. We urge you to be modest in your expenditures; discipline yourselves in your purchases to avoid debt. … If you have paid your debts and have a financial reserve, even though it be small, you and your family will feel more secure and enjoy greater peace in your hearts” (All Is Safely Gathered In: Family Finances).